Let's Go Crazy, Let's Get Nuts

Things I've Always Wanted to Do During a Super Bowl Party:

1. Watch the game with normal people. I have seen many a football game, and with several people, but the freaks come out this weekend. Women who don't know who Tarik Glenn is, and why he is vital. People the don't understand the intricacies of the Cover 2 defense. In other words they are normal, I am not. Maybe a rephrase is necessary. Watch the game with annoying people like me that think they know it all.

2. Coordinate a national toilet flush moment. I want to know if anything crazy would happen if we all flushed our toilets right as the ball is kicked to start the second half. It is widely theorized that during halftime there is a mass of toilet flushes so powerful that in a perfect storm kind of way it can destroy the world. Okay maybe we're not off to the best start, but it sounds good. And I wanna try it just to see what might happen. We can make T-Shirts and maybe all buy into porcelain stocks, or piping company futures. It'd be like Y2K all over again.

3. I'd like for once not to hear the phrase, "I love the commercials." Everybody likes the commercials. Mostly because we are told they are great, and secondly because we know they're new. I swear if I see that Dodge commercial with the rock 'em sock 'em robots one more time I'm gonnna peel my skin off and feed it to Hitler's dog. I am so delusional that I expect a play on it during the Super Bowl. And you be damn sure if I worked for a truck maker's ad agency I'd have one in the works. Shot identical, but with our truck screaming down the road smashing into the robot causing its head not only to pop up, but off.

4. What was this about again, I have blood vessels popping in my eyes. That commercial really pisses me off. Any crap. I'd love a Super Bowl party where everyone cared about the game and pulled for the same team. The closest this ever came for me was Atlanta vs. Denver. Most wanted Atlanta to win, because we were in SC and most of us were born and raised in SC. We felt like this was our team to pull for, at least for this Super Bowl. But it was Elway. And there was the speculation that he would hang up that #7 after the game and hit Disneyworld. So there was the rogue element of Bronco supporters. But still. I've never been in a big group pulling for a team in the Super Bowl. I think it would be fun.

Anyway, enjoy your Super Bowl party. I know I will mine. Most years I don't even go to these, but I'm ready for another one. Remember, flush the toilet at the exact moment the ball is kicked into play for the second half. And if the new guy brings some homemade guacamole, stay away.

Let's Go Crazy- Prince
When Doves Cry- Prince
Alphabet St.- Prince
Cream- that's right The Artist Formerly Known as Prince...will his butt be exposed on Sunday?