Your Body is a Wonderland

Baseball groupies aren't what they used to be. They used to be crazy, hot and slutty. Now they don't act crazy, aren't as hot and truly I can't tell if they are slutty anymore. Girls of my generation were slutty if they smoked Marlboro Reds, cut their jeans, had more than one piercing in an ear, and wore Def Leppard T-Shirts.

But on the subject of baseball groupies, there used to be a group of girls that just loved baseball guys. I saw none last night. I went to the University of South Carolina, where baseball was pretty important as far as sports were concerned, and this constituted having a cheering section of girls. I call them baseball groupies, because trust me they weren't keeping score, but at parties later. They were the type of girl you'd see on your Girls Gone Wild DVD's. Real rumpshakers.

So, I also live in Charleston, SC where The Citadel is located. A school known for its military education. This military education leads many young men to Charleston. Following those men are Citadel Groupies. Which are basically College of Charleston Co-Eds that don't hug trees, but drive Tahoes. None were present last night as these two teams played baseball. You'd think that there would have been a groupie convention, but alas I guess John Mayer or Jack Johnson must have been singing their siren songs, luring the groupies away, to their higher calling.

You need some good music.

The Jayhawks, Settled Down Like Rain
REM, Green Grow The Rushes
Twisted Sister, We're Not Gonna Take It
John Mayer, Bigger Than My Body
Jack Johnson, Taylor