enjoy

best two things on the internet save porn and gossip

http://www.yarayara.com/tv/index.html

Look to the right at the post for 3/30.

http://dontlinkthis.com/archives/1267#more-1267

Your Body is a Wonderland

Baseball groupies aren't what they used to be. They used to be crazy, hot and slutty. Now they don't act crazy, aren't as hot and truly I can't tell if they are slutty anymore. Girls of my generation were slutty if they smoked Marlboro Reds, cut their jeans, had more than one piercing in an ear, and wore Def Leppard T-Shirts.

But on the subject of baseball groupies, there used to be a group of girls that just loved baseball guys. I saw none last night. I went to the University of South Carolina, where baseball was pretty important as far as sports were concerned, and this constituted having a cheering section of girls. I call them baseball groupies, because trust me they weren't keeping score, but at parties later. They were the type of girl you'd see on your Girls Gone Wild DVD's. Real rumpshakers.

So, I also live in Charleston, SC where The Citadel is located. A school known for its military education. This military education leads many young men to Charleston. Following those men are Citadel Groupies. Which are basically College of Charleston Co-Eds that don't hug trees, but drive Tahoes. None were present last night as these two teams played baseball. You'd think that there would have been a groupie convention, but alas I guess John Mayer or Jack Johnson must have been singing their siren songs, luring the groupies away, to their higher calling.

You need some good music.

The Jayhawks, Settled Down Like Rain
REM, Green Grow The Rushes
Twisted Sister, We're Not Gonna Take It
John Mayer, Bigger Than My Body
Jack Johnson, Taylor

Extra Extra, read all about it

Wanted:

Math Tutor. College Level Math, Algebra, and Geometry.
Apply within.

I've been practice testing for the GRE, uh. Not going so well. Vocab, Analogies etc. Going great. Algebra I was hitting like fifty to sixty percent. My math is so bad I don't even know if fifty percent is greater than sixty. At this point, I'm thinking I need to find a local high school nerd, give them ten bucks and have them remold my brain.

I should start a poll on what I should study. I'm between History, Poli Sci, Education, English, or Business. I'm leaning towards English, Poli Sci or Education.

Go Cocks

The Butterfly Effect

I guess now is the time I should slam Ashton Kutchar for making Guess Who. I'm not going to do that, everyone else has so I'm gonna waste my words on his next movie with Amanda Peet. I don't even know the name of it, but it is ultimately the same movie he made with Brittney Murphy, Just Married. He made another cookie cutter romantic comedy with Tara Reid in a pairing that should have shut the entire film industry down. My Boss's Daughter, and Just Married, now Guess Who, what's next? A Lot Like Love, with Amanda Peet. Oy Vey. I really don't care for Ashton in any respect, so I guess its a good thing he is solely involved in these stink pickles. But I believe he is the sole reason these have been schlock, well Tara Reid can take some blame.

What am I ranting about? These things don't really affect me day to day. I guess I am a little pissed about Guess Who.

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights, Freddie Fender
Is Anybody Going to San Antone, Doug Sahm and Friends

Plasticman Rules

http://uscsports.collegesports.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/032505aaa.html?pic=5

I'm finally getting really excited about Odom and the basketball team. Just someone beat Memphis.

Go 'Cocks!!!!

Swarm

I love off beat news stories. I was hoping to catch the National Geographic show on Hogzilla a mammoth wild boar that stretched 7.5 feet and weighed over 800 lbs.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/22/hogzilla.ap/index.html

Where hogzilla made me gasp, this made me laugh.

The best reason a baseball game has been called ever!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/baseball/mlb/specials/spring_training/2005/03/24/bc.bbo.beeinvasion.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

Muzzle of Bees, Wilco
Flight of the Bumblebee, Rachmaninov
No Rain, Blind Melon
Triumph, Wu Tang Clan (nsfw, like duh)

Boat Drinks

Carrie Underwood is a Goddess.

Read the below link and think back to the Scopes Monkey Trial, is evolution that revolutionary a theory? I swear to Darwin...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/23/volcano.movie.ap/index.html

For me the seasonal changes happen for not only the weather, but for the music on my truck cd player.

Swaping
Kings of Leon- Youth and Young Manhood, Aha Shake Heartbreak
Led Zeppelin- III, In Through the Out Door
U2- All that You Can't Leave Behind
Jim Croce- Photographs & Memories
Big Star- Live
Loose Fur- Loose Fur
O' Brother Where Art Thou?

For
Jimmy Cliff- The Harder They Come...
Jimmy Buffett- Coconut Telegraph, Songs You Know by Heart
Bob Marley and the Wailers- Live at the Roxy
Gipsy Kings- Volare The Very Best of...

That ought to summerize the stereo sounds. Warm weather and good summer music.

The Evil Empire

ESPN is leading with it this afternoon online, but what may happen tonight should make Sportscenter as it lead story. Pat Summitt barring any upset will become the all-time DI winningest coach in basketball, passing Dean Smith. She could hang number 880 in the rafters in Thompson Bolling Arena tonight. Summitt is the equivalent of Phog Allen, Henry Iba, and Frank McGuire. She is a founding mother of a game that is driving past adolecence into puberty. In only a few years will this game full blossom. Pat Summitt is a major contributor to college basketball and to its growth.

To some she is Darth Vader, to others she is a legend. Tonight while you are watching the University of South Carolina, you should take a peak at the girls in orange, white and baby blue. I am ever impressed with the way that team plays basketball, it gives me a reason not to completely hate UcheaT.

In other news, I am ready for baseball. Gamecocks play in Charleston next week, so that will help, but I figure I may have to take in a pro game this year. I'm hedging my money and my faith to the Los Angeles Angels. Still a Giants fan, but no longer rooting for them without mentioning the Angels. Like what they have done.

Also Genevieve Gorder's new show Town Haul (ha) is running currently on TLC. It was pretty good, the premise is they take a section of town and, get this, give it a makeover, what a novel idea. We don't see many makeovers on TV anymore. Reason this catches my eye. Laurens, SC was the debut town. I once got a ticket in Laurens, so I've been there twice. I also once had a crush on a girl from Laurens. That's about all I know about it. Whilest we talk about makeover shows though, I am ready for MTV's I Want a Famous Face where teens have plastic surgery to go from ugly to kinda not bad looking in order to look like a famous idol. My favorite is easily the twin acne ridden skeletons that wanted to look like Brad Pitt. They would have needed surgery to look like the kid in Road Trip that made it with the big girl. Instead they set their sights to the stratosphere. The results were what they wanted, and what I expected, which are two different things.

Tegan and Sara--Walking with a Ghost
The Ramones--We Want the Airwaves
Willie Nelson--Always on My Mind

A Moment Please

I hate to blog twice in one day, but I feel it necessary to put my thoughts to a saved place for my own benefit.

The Terry Schiavo case is keeping me up tonight, watching the debates from the House in a special session designed to create a federal review of Florida's Supreme Court decision to follow through with the desires of Terry Schiavo, a woman in a persistant vegetative state for the last fifteen years.

What confuses me is why Republicans will trump their core beliefs of personal freedom, personal choice and their promises not to invade lives with legislation, only to appease their religious beliefs.

On the other hand, she isn't on life support. She breathes on her own, her heart pumps blood and oxygen to her brain. Isn't it wrong to remove food from her diet to ultimately end her life? I don't like the idea of creating a living will and having something like "feeding tube" being debated as life support.

Separation of powers is being violated. The Supreme Court will not let that stand. This is simply a debate on ideology, and the conservatives don't like the latest blow. What will this, if it passes, open the doors to?

Earmuffs

What's worse Billy Packer or death? I don't know yet. I'll get back to you when I die.

Here's David Harris, he's a mole relocator..

Right you are Ken.

I gotta get a blank VCR Tape for Spring Break Shark Attack, I'm a sucker for a good Shannon Lucio movie.

My bracket has taken a beating. I didn't have Kansas going too far, or Gonzaga. I did have Syracuse making the Elite Eight so that might hurt. Although one bracket has them losing early, its my wild and crazy bracket.

Todd Barry's album is now available on Rhapsody, he is hilarious.

Jessica Alba is so hot it should be illegal.

Sin City could be the next The Matrix, which was the next Blade Runner, or it could be the next The Crow, which ain't bad. I just like writing statements including the words "the next the".

Premiere Magazine lists Tom Cruise as the #3 Film Actor of all time. This begs the question Does Dreamworks own Premiere Magazine? Tom is underrated but c'mon!

Probably my new favorite ironic/retro/hipster T-Shirt.
http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=dysentery

Relaxin' 'till the 'morrow!

Anchor-Man

I can't talk long, Fritz Lang is out getting tortilla chips and salsa. We're watching basketball and writing a follow up to Dodgeball. This time the gang is going to like Miami or Moscow and they are entered in a tug of war tournament to save the pirate guy from losing his booty.
Tentatively our title is The Passion of the Rope.

It's Allright- Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions (one of those songs you know but may not have known he did)

Put a Little Love in Your Heart- Jackie DeShannon

Comment (If All Men are Truly Brothers)- Charles Wright and the Watt's 103rd Street Rhythm Band

Janis Ian - At Seventeen

Buckets

Second dime of the day comes with a pure basketball theme. I saw this essay tournament two days ago and looked at the future contestants with some awe. I wrote a similar piece to my email buddies six years ago. When Shane Battier was a Junior and Rising Senior I called him the greatest player Duke ever had. Excluding the fact that Christian Laettner was the best college player ever.
Click on this below and see if I was right and ahead of my time. I promise you Shane Battier is the greatest college athlete I've ever seen.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/basketball/ncaa/specials/ncaa_tourney/2005/03/17/greatest.player.battier/index.html

peaceouthommies

Farewell and Adieu you Ladies of Spain

One of the all-time great bad movies is running on FX. The Rats is a story about rats. Imagine Macy's in NY infested with rats, and you gotta get rid of them. It's Jaws in a department store. I love this one in particular because it stars Madchen Amick of Twin Peaks fame. ( I believe the love of her is predisposed to bloggers. Scott Stereogum, Thighmaster, and Uncle Grambo have posted about her recently.)

Anyway this gem is full of lines like:
"Is that?" while referring to black light highlighted rat crap and urine
"Yep. Rats are permanently incontinent."
"Ew" I added that line.

So what didn't happen in Jaws that happens in The Rats is the PR exec from the department store falls in love with the exterminator. Luckily Quint and Brody didn't make out. Other good Jaws ripoffs: Anaconda, Arachnaphobia, The Blair Witch Project, and Swingers.

This exterminator is like no other, he is good looking in a prime time movie, daytime soap kinda way. The best part though is how upstanding he is, telling the CEO of Department Store you can bury this all you want but I have to file a report, its the law.

Good stuff. I gotta see the credits just to make sure that no rats were harmed in making a movie about killer rats. Oh I did leave that out. These rats aren't afraid of people, they don't scurry away when you approach, they attack, I think the diagnosis was that they suffered from an incurable plot device.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282418/

Rats...Pearl Jam

If its in the game....

I visited my local record store and got out for under sixty bucks.

Picked up:

Kings of Leon Aha Shake Heartbreak, heard it on Rhapsody, pretty good.
Idlewild The Remote Part, used, and a steal at $6.00. Good Scottish rawk.
Bob Dylan Bring it All Back Home, used. I collect Dylan records.
Led Zeppelin In Through the Out Door, used. I haven't bought a Led Zeppelin album in twelve years.
Jim Croce's Greatest Hits, used. I love Jim Croce, it dates back mainly to college when my roomate Jason had this on vinyl. I miss vinyl. Good songwriter, nay great songwriter.
Allison Moorer Show, DVD + CD. I think the world of her. Like Lucinda Williams but looks like a redheaded Marcia Brady. So hot, and really talented.

How 'bout them Gamecocks. Gonner finally came through, I couldn't be happier. In other Gamecock news, Brian Roberts makes an "In the Game" appearance for EA Sports new baseball game. I believe the exact quote is "I'm in the game!" Which is, I'm sure, a pleasant surprise to B Rob. Too bad Drew Meyer isn't. That dude is like totally failing in the minors. He is no longer on a minor league roster. Too bad he went to school. Had he left high school for the Dodgers he'd be a millionaire. Oh well, they like to say at least he got and education, but people I've seen him. He didn't get much of an education.

Let's Steal the Sun...Allison Moorer
Little Discourage...Idlewild
Everybody Knows this is Nowhere...Neil Young and Crazy Horse

old man take a look at your life

Give a brother a break. It might be shocking for me to make that statement considering the subject. Dave Odom. I like Dave Odom. I just don't think he is the right guy for the job at USC. But for the people that want him fired, that is a little silly. We play in a top 5 conference and really played very well last year, lost our point guard and big man. I am always frustrated with our basketball team, its my nature. But I am also a realist. And I realize that Dave Odom is one of the best out there, and certainly better than anyone available. Until Tubby Smith, or Kelvin Sampson (although I think he will be at Oklahoma for a long time) become available, then I say lets go along for the ride.

Greg Marshall this and Greg Marshall that. I am not big on Marshall. Two reasons: what has he done? He has won in the Big South. He hasn't really coached anywhere but Winthrop. By the way I bet if anyone is reading this outside of SC they may not realize how much people here want Marshall to be considered for every job in the country. I promise you Arizona St. or Nebraska won't come a callin' if they need a coach. I like Bobby Lutz a whole lot more than Marshall and have since I was in college for anyone that remembers those years. Lutz is the man, he has won Conf. USA and is due for a big time job. I really liked that we interviewed Al Skinner before we got Odom. I think he would have been wonderful for Carolina. But my guy is still Kelvin Sampson. I wish wish wish he would have come when we got Odom.

Anyway I got a bowl of sour grapes here, and another rant. Why is it that Miami and Va Tech have been sucessful early in the ACC? I think its because the Big East is tougher than anyone gives credit and the ACC is somewhat overrated. Va Tech and Miami were doormats in the Big East, now they are middle of the pack to last. That is an improvement, the only thing that changed was the competition. Oh and Miami has a new coach. I don't expect USC to beat the U tonight but, I gotta feelin' we will either get dismantled or do some dismantlin'...

Sorry to rant on your day, but I got sunny days ahead. Mostly on Thursday. Ooh Idol tonight, that makes me destress some.

Matrimony: Maybe You--Maxwell
Brown Sugar: D'Angelo
All 4 Love: Color Me Badd
No Diggity: Blackstreet .....

Play on Playa

East Point

Retro Jerseys are the current rage. Why? I am so over this. I predicted this fashion trend in the mid 1990's when Big Boi appeared in a video with a Dale Murphy Jersey. I thought then, "It would be cool to have some older players jerseys available rather than just Jordan and whatever jersey Ice Cube was wearing." So I figured this would take off as a major trend because uniforms went through a much more colorful period in the 1960's and 1970's, plus its easier to one up your friends.

Now it has exploded. The jersey craze went into college jerseys of current players, to retro, to now retro jerseys of current players and their college jerseys or high school jerseys in some instances. I saw a Farragut Academy jersey next to a Mt. Zion jersey and nearly laughed out loud. What is annoying is when teams have throw back nights to debut a new jersey. It drives me up a wall, the commercialism infuriates me when we talk about it on the college circuit. Duke was one of the first teams in my area to wear three sets of jerseys. Now every team in basketball have three. Every football team has two with a third for some, but what is happening there to create more jersey purchases is, teams are changing uni designs more and more often. Funny the Green Bay Packers, New York Yankees, Alabama Crimson Tide and Boston Celtics hardly do anything, but you look at the plethora of Astros, Nuggets, Kings, Hawks and Mavericks jerseys you will be stunned.

Anyway thanks Outkast.

In the Morning Big Head Todd and the Monsters
Hobo Humping Slobo Babe- Whale
Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in my Hand- Primative Radio Gods
Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)- Baz Lurhman
Aquemini- Outkast

Nothin is fo' sho', Nothin is fo' certain/Him and I, Aquemini

Chief Moose Rules

I'm snorting basketball through a straw like a junkie today and for the rest of the season. The full court press is on and my brackets can't wait to be filled. I love getting into a few pools and dying over every little game. The tournament give you new work conversation for about two weeks. I like watching older people curse teams like Xavier for beating Oregon. That is too funny. Damn Muskateers! Beat the Ducks and now I'm down two games to Walter, sumbitch.

I hate Clemson baseball, but watching the USC @ Clemson game makes me want to go there for a game. Looks like a fun afternoon atmosphere. Cooking out, hot girls, and baseball. Good venue. Crap Clemson just scored.

Anyway, not much really to say today. I watched approximately four to six hours of Bryan Nichols coverage. Mostly CNN. I get absorbed in these stories. I dreamed about it, and woke up early this morning to get the latest overnight news. During the sniper thing in Virginia, I would get up in the middle of the night and watch the news to see if anything happened. I am a news fiend, I guess that's why I have an Anchorwoman fetish. Campbell, I love you. (in that good way from a distance, not in that weird way like when I was in Washington I looked up your number and breathed heavy on the phone with candle wax being poured on my chest, that's plum crazy)

You're mom goes to college.

I need to go read my new Esquire for some writing inspiration.

Holla Back

Corrections

Below you will see last night's post. To update,

And by Jon Carney I mean Rodney. He lit my guys up last year, how quickly we forget.

Bruce Willis is a mack dad.

More later.

Folgers Good to the Last Drop

I like:

Jon Carney-Memphis Swingman, like Kenyon Martin and Latrell Sprewell in one.

Beck - E-Pro, Beck is cool. I love Mutations. Odelay is great, but I cut my teeth on Mutations.

Merritt Dempsey- My local anchor crush.

Hoosiers 2 Disc DVD Set- "No matter what the score says, to me we'll be winners."

paigesix.blogspot.com- that gal is fun, sexy and probably in need of some meds.

oldies radio- where else can you fix your Association jones at 5am?

Manny's Greek-American- I just returned from my neighborhood bar. It is great, I am fairly known even after not being there since last year. I knew between ten and fifteen people there just randomly.

Live in Austin, Texas. The Mavericks live record. Came out last year. That thing is really good. If you like those guys give it a spin. I love horns, so obviously it was up my alley.

Alabama Song- By the Doors and Allison Moorer, which strangely enough are two completely different songs.

Backstreet Boys Doing Clubs- that speaks for itself. They are playing Myrtle Beach at the House of Blues.

Keri Russell- no explanation necessary

Budweiser Select- Good stuff.

Patches- Now available on Rhapsody. This song is the absolute truth. It is country and blues but more than that this is how a real southern boy grows up. Patches is my f'n hero. He might be raggedy, but I salute him. Clarence Carter is the man.

Yoda- A Badass he is. The Episode III trailer just ran. Okay, I'll lay it out there: I'm soo disappointed with the last two that this one won't get me there opening day. I also think Hayden Christiansen is partially to blame. He sucks. Nats (I'm sticking to my theory that she is the phantom menace) has pulled up his slack though.Oh right, I'm a Star Wars geek and yes opening day means something to me. I saw the other two on opening day, and the three recuts on opening day. Sorry, if you need a new blog I understand. Luckily (for me) I only look like a Star Wars geek occasionally. I do believe that the movies should look like the first ones and I can't get past that still. There are too many visuals and not enough Kurasowa rips to work for me.

Short Hair- No not on women, and not on dudes. On me. I need a friggin' hair cut bad. I am so desperate that I'm thinking of shaving it all off with my Norelco. I think I'm gonna shave my head. It's been since 1999. It's time.

Robert Hertstein-I had him as a Prof. my sophomore year. I just finished reading a book about WWII where he did the forward. I am not a WW II scholar by the way it was a book by Life Magazine, so photos almost outnumbered words. The key is Hertstein, one of the best teachers ever. His lectures went like this: Remember North Africa? We had breakfast with Rommell, Goerbels called and ordered more gas for the chambers. We slaughtered Ethopians and eradicated races. You were there, the weather was balmy. Rommell rode next to you. You heiled him. His sister is Barbara Hershey, Believe it or not.

GOB- finally he uses his stripper pants again. I wish he did more magic this season.

Tonight lets go back to 1991-1992
Oceans- Pearl Jam
Drive- R.E.M.
One- U2
I've Been Waiting- Matthew Sweet
And a little later but after listening to Daniel Johnston I can't help but think of Wesley Willis.

I Whupped Batman's Ass- Wesley Willis
Jesus is the Answer- Wesley Willis Fiasco


Word to your Mother.

30 Odd Foot of Random

Tonight UConn won its 12th of 13 Big East Tourney Titles. That is impressive. It's March. It's getting mad, Oakland beat Oral Roberts. The significance is that Oakland is 12-18 and Oral Roberts is 25-7. Oral Roberts just burst someone's bubble. I am psyched for the basketball coming up. My third favorite sports month. (April is the best.)

Sideshow Nadia was really cool tonight on American Idol. And I am officially in love with Carrie Underwood, have I professed this before? I kinda think if they asked me to describe myself based on my astrological sign I would probably have said "It's a ring toss game." Or "can I get taste loss from a foosball table?''.

Saw Russell Crowe on Inside the Actors Studio Sunday for a bit. He was much more interesting than I expected. I really don't like him very much, which is an improvement from formally loathing him. Now I have respect for him. I still think if I had a machete and was liquored up I could take him.

I still love Joss Stone's first album. I'm listening to that right now and doing some sort of computer chair boogie. Speaking of boogie, I will be seeing Tift Merritt here in Chucktown on April 9th. This officially takes me out of any Ashlee Simpson in Myrtle Beach plans. Too bad too. I was gonna spike up my hair, and sing crappy songs in the parking lot so the teeny boppers would mistake me for Ryan Cabrera. I guess their weak minds can't make the progression that he will be playing parking lot fairs soon.

The Govenator seems more and more Jed Bartlett everyday to me. Ahhnold is really kind of becoming fun to watch and much less annoying.

Budweiser Select is pretty okay, it doesn't taste like much of anything, so you can drink it warm in the park on a merry go round and be okay.

Joe's Head--Kings of Leon
Stray Paper--Tift Merritt
Gravity of the Situation--Vic Chesnutt, poor Vic.
Old Joe's Place--The Folksmen, A Mighty Wind Soundtrack

Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow.

Nashville Skyline

I've been listening to a bunch of country music lately. Traditional country in fact. I like that kind of country that plays on AM radio in the rural south. It seems much of it was recorded in the mountains, and their hollows. Words I've heard a lot lately: hurt, love, she, momma, dead, Hello I'm Johnny Cash, crazy, and blue jeans.

Also, and this is huge. I found my book of Family Feud questions. I worked on these one afternoon in the early 2000's. Watching the Feud, I was stunned by some of the questions and really enjoy Louie Anderson's voice. (Aside. How John Ritter dies of a heart attack and Louie Anderson is still alive is amazing. Based on his voice and skin tone he shouldn't have seen the Clinton Presidency.)

Here are some examples* from my book, which can be purchased at Amazon.com

You know how Family Feud works, the questions always begin: We asked one hundred people....so and so.

What kind of snakes are served on Columbus Day?
What animal would you not put in a suitcase?
What else smells like butter?
How many barrels can you put fish in?
How many gallons of paint would it take to paint Lisbon?
How many times does the average American eat in a phone booth?

Other weird quotes found in my book:
"The streets will flow with the blood of the non-believing."
"There is an acrid metallic taste, and I can only see grey and yellow."

I'm glad I write my thoughts down on pads. I must have twenty pads all over this state with random crud like that.

crack open a frosty bud can and listen to these country songs:
Long Black Veil- Lefty Frizzell
Get Rhythm- Johnny Cash
Foggy Mountain Breakdown-Flatt and Scruggs
Flowers on the Wall- The Statler Brothers
Tonight I'll be Stayin' Here with You- Bob Dylan

Appendix
*by reading these examples with your eyes and comprehending them as funny nonsense you give up the right to publish these on a syndicated gameshow or any other form of media

I'm merely overt.

Its time for a shout out. One of my favorite blogs is by a fellow alumnus, Jason Hartley. Jason along with pal Britt Bergman developed the Advancedment Theory. Their theory has gained some attention from the likes of Esquire Magazine July 2004, and now is accompanied by a blog, named of course...advanced theory blog. www.advancedtheory.blogspot.com

Anyway to sum up Advanced Theory is simply putting a name to an artist's decision. Like, instance David Byrne of the Talking Heads doing a cover of Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody. That is advanced. He is so beyond his peers and so beyond his fans that he chose to do something that appealed only to himself. Not only did this only appeal to Byrne, no one could have predicted this move. It was like Dylan playing Christian music in the late 70s, unfortunately that wasn't deemed advanced. Just before you think you've got a hold on exactly what is going on here, I'll throw in a wrench. There is the idea of an artist merely being overt. For example Liz Phair is overt. She hasn't yet advanced. Releasing a four track album of confessional songs progressing to ten years later releasing a pop rock album with similar lyrics is only overt. Overt is better than not being overt, its just not advanced.

To be advanced you must release a piece of work that 99% of the world thinks is absolute crap. The reasons are not because the work is bad, its because we as non-advanced don't get it. This by no means means that crap is genius and the opposite. It is only a way of analyzing pop culture. It is a fun way to make crappy music by a non-crappy person relevant.

I've Got a Brand New Pair of Rollerskates...

Things I learned this week.

I don't visit the local KFC very often but when I do, friends, its an event. This time I was talked into getting a Snacker to go along with my purchase ( 1 gallon gravy and 16 chicken skins). The Snacker was pretty good. It's like a chicken strip on a seeded roll. Tasty.

Scrubs is a very good show. I watch it about as often as I go to KFC but now I'm gonna try and watch it as often as I check my mail. At least once a week. I wish that stuff was in syndication. I really like this weeks episode. It was a repeat from when Heather Graham was on. Really funny, great music. I was asked to watch Scrubs several years ago, but just couldn't fit it into my schedule. Well it like many other good shows without an easy to figure audience gets shifted around a lot. Why they don't play this after or during Joey on Thursday's I don't know. Heather Graham should do more Arrested Development as well.

Okay I didn't learn this this week but here goes: ESPN-U '05. I am currently beginning a campaign to have Comcast pick up ESPN-U the all college all the time thingamajig. I have made my phone call, I ask if you have testicles or not, make your call. If you need practice, call your congressman and ask them to repair a pothole.

Ill Fated, Golden Smog
True Love Will Find You in the End, Daniel Johnston-Wilco covered this pastly
Panama City Motel, If I Can't Change Your Mind, Sugar-praise be to Bobby Mould

Until the morrow brothers and sisters...and that's the way I like it.

I occasionally run spell check, because I'm conscious of how I spell things. Anyway it did its job tonight, correctly spelling thingamajig for me, but the best was suggestin Kafka for KFC. I can't think of two more different things. Allthough my stomach might feel like the Metamorphosis. I would have paid one acorn and a tale of adventure to see a NBC sitcom "Franz" instead of Joey. The slightly off kilter comedy based on the (no pun intended) trials and tribulations of Franz Kafka.

Once again I'm peacing out of this biznotch.

Coming Attractions

One of my favorite internet pastimes is watching movie trailers. Here are a few that aren't foreign or bad.

Beauty Shop= Barbershop + Bringin' Down the House
http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/beauty_shop/

Maria Full of Grace= Midnight Express + Foreign (sorry it looks really good)
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fineline/mariafullofgrace/

The Upside of Anger= Tin Cup meets the Contender. Actually this is one I really want to see, I love Keri Russell in like probably dangerous ways.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/the_upside_of_anger/

The Longest Yard= The Waterboy + The Longest Yard 1974 This is going to make a lot of money.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/the_longest_yard/trailer/

Cinderella Man= Seabiscuit+ A Beautiful Mind. Do they give Oscar Ballots out this early. There are a few movies that are made for passion about a story and some are made for a studio's passion for credibility.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/cinderella_man/

A Scanner Darkly=Slacker+Waking Life
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=trailer&id=1808626786&intl=us

Lords of Dogtown=Dogtown and Z Boys + Fiction. Maybe not much fiction. If this looks even remotely interesting and you haven't seen Dogtown and Z Boys, netflix it soon.
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=trailer&id=1808656366&intl=us

Enjoy.

One Toke Over the Line, Sweet Meat

I rejoined the workforce after a necessary respite. I get back and it seems I've been having a little trouble filling out my TPS reports.

Okay so its time to talk college sports. Its March and now basketball is king. But we start with college football. Demetris Summers was gonna start but then he got high. He was gonna run the ball, but he got high. He's gonna go Division I AA and I know whyyyyyyyy....because he got high, because he got high, because he got high. That is my favorite Afroman song ever, even as deep as that catalog is, that is a funny one.

Clemson Tigers. My goodness what a finish. Best highlights I saw all day. I loved the way GW won Saturday at Dayton, but Clemson took the cake. Best finish of the season, so far. Mad crazy props.

And finally John Cheaney. Have we heard about this enough. I say fire him. I am an appologist for Bobby Knight, but he never bragged or setup such a situation. Cheaney is one of my favorite coaches of any sport. He does things his way and doesn't secumb to fads or trends. His players are up everyday at 5am and they work hard in practice or they are gone. I admire a man with Cheaney's principles. He is unwavering almost to a flaw. As for his crazy side. Everyone remembers the Calipari incident. I didn't mind then and I wouldn't mind now if he killed Calipari. There has never been a greater sleaze not named Jim Harrick. But what Cheaney did there was really out of line. This goes one step further towards idiotic. Fire him. His teams have been downright average, hopefully he will step down, which is what I expect. Did we expect his exit to be any less dramatic?

This isn't college, more JVish. How good was Mikalah Gordon last night. Finally subdued and not a prozac munching Drescher.

only inches on the reel to reel... love that line

There's a Story in Your Voice, Elvis Costello and the Impostors (Lucinda Williams jams)
Complicated, The Rolling Stones
Snowden, Doves
Wicked Garden, Stone Temple Pilots
Everytime You Go Away, Paul Young
Green Eyes, Coldplay
Bags Groove, Modern Jazz Quartet

That will make up for lost time. Too bad Brewer and Shipley aren't rhapsodyable (Rhapsody is a verb for me. What are you doing? Rhapsodying.)

What's your favorite Michael Bolton song? Ooh I don't know, I kinda like 'em all.

I told those fudgepackers I like Michael Bolton's music.

Long Way to go Short Time to Get There

I figure I should just start saying everything that comes to my mind. Today I started wondering why I haven't seen mucho Star Wars pub. Well today it begins, timely. It was announced today that the Episode III Trailer will debut during the OC on March 10, and in theatres the following day. I figure this is an attempt to boost the OC from its sophmore slump, well it may not be slumping in anyway other than creatively. The Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox partnership is finally going the other way also, using Fox's power to push a franchise that shouldn't need anything.

Today I watched Smokey and the Bandit for the first time unedited. I really love that movie. It seems cheesy and goofy to like a Burt Reynolds movie, but there is good reason this guy was the biggest actor of the early eighties. He has a good prescence, and made fun movies. Whenever I watch a movie from the past (at least twenty years) I want to recast it in my mind for the remake. It may seem unbelieveable, but pre-Soderburgh Ocean's 11 I thought it would be great to remake with almost the exact cast in the key roles.

I can't figure for the life of me why some movies get made or why some get remade, but let's do this for just a second. Imagine remaking Smokey and the Bandit. Okay, I know already this is a bad idea, but I can smell it in the future. Based on the future success of the Dukes of Hazzard, and a revitalization of car chases on southern dirt roads, and Burt Reynolds The Longest Yard coming back this summer, I figure this is the next progression. Its just a matter of who will be attached to direct, Todd Phillips (Old School, Starsky and Hutch, The Six Million Dollar Man) or F. Gary Gray ( Italian Job I and II and Be Cool). I'm leaning towards Todd Phillips, now the next major mountain is getting The Bandit. I only have one man in mind: Matthew McConaughey. He has everything Burt Reynolds did but with more. Sally Field's role will be played by either Sandra Bullock or Brittney Murphy. I figure the guy driving the truck either needs to be a country music star or from Texas. I offer Steve Zahn or Toby Keith. Its about time for him to jump so far past the shark its stupifying. I could see disaster with Kid Rock. Now for the other key ingredient; Smokey.

So here's the deal Jackie Gleason stole this movie. He was hilarious, and surly. John Goodman isn't quite old enough. Jack Nicholson is too big. I'm hitting a wall here. I've got Peter Boyle or Gene Hackman or Albert Brooks. What to do? I don't know it will come to me.

Idol tonight. I was happy with a few performances last night. Bo Bice seemed overrated but whatever. I just wish Scott would blaze some Mach 3 across that thing he calls a beard. Still pulling for Anwar. Tonight I am looking forward to Celena Rae, she needs a comeback, Aloha, Nadia, and my two faves. Carrie Underwood and the slightly insane Mikalah Gordon. What is with her? My buddy Hap says she is the Danny Almonte of American Idol. I think she birthed Danny. I am not pulling for Lindsay Cardinale. I don't like Julia D'Matto nor her clone.

Seacrest Out