Since U Been Gone

I was reunited with a friend today at lunch. An absolute beauty. Funny and wise. Of course she is on television. Julie Bowen, how quickly I forget. I love you. You are so many times hotter than anyone else ever. Little did I know that the Superstation is airing Ed repeats. You graced my presence again. Julie Bowen held a firm grip on #2 on my celebrity do list, and eventually replace Jennifer Garner or Faith Hill at #1. She is gorgeous, and each time I see her either in an episode of Ed or a Neutragena commercial I swoon. (not so much in Happy Gilmore, I think it is her surroundings).

So seeing this has had me thinking about beauty and what makes a HOT person now. Somehow or another Lindsay Lohan is hot, I say it is her wild behavior and massive boobs. I like both especially on one body. This brings me to Paris Hilton, a person I kinda hate, but also love. I love Paris being stupid and flamboyant and with the short hair. I don't like Paris acting important and with the wig.

People that aren't hot, but are accepted as such, The Olsen Twins. They are borderline ugly. I think they look like couture aliens. And Kelly Clarkson looks like a chunky Olsen twin, all 120lbs of her. Another is Serena Williams. She is not attractive, and I am a champion of athletic beauty. I love some Sue Bird, Svetlana Abrosimova, Maria Sharapova, Heather Mitts, ad naseum but Serena is tough. Maybe its a black thing I don't understand. If she is so hot why isn't she dating anyone famous? She oughta be dating TO or LeBron James, or some rapper. Luda would know what to do. You'd think Lenny Kravitz would have done her by now.

Finally on the pretty girl thing: half the reason I turned to women's basketball as an alternative to the very boring men's game is for the pretty girls, which there are few. What it did though was eliminate any team I could pull for...so Go Vols, I never thought I would say that. But how can you not love Brittany Jackson, and the baby blue.

Given to Fly, Corduroy, Hail Hail....Pearl Jam

Hud

So I threatened some time ago that I would write a story on my favorite movies of all time when I had nothing better to say. This is one of those days, and I figure why not start right at the top.

Hud 1963 Directed by Martin Ritt

Hud is the story of Hud Bannon a Texas rancher that would rather fight and screw than work in the field. Paul Newman plays the titular character to pristine perfection. Alienating man, woman and child in his path, a path to destruction. Hud cares for himself above all else, including his sick father and family business. After a recently purchased heifer on the Bannon ranch dies, it throws Hud's father, Homer played by Melvyn Douglas, into a state of considerable anxiety. When he consults Hud for advise it is suggested that they not worry and attempt to pass of the herd as quality product. Homer chooses to do otherwise, exposing Hud's lack of character and evolved sense of deception. When a state agriculturalist determines the cattle to be diseased there is but one option. Destroy the entire herd.

The news is financial murder to the Bannon Ranch. In one of the most graphic sequences in my film history a pit is hollowed for the cattle. They are forced in by men dressed in rain coats carrying shotguns. After all the cattle are herded in their future grave the gunshots begin. The herd is shot to death over the longest seconds in film. Yet two cattle remain. Homer's longhorns he raised from calf to full grown must be slaughtered as well. He will not allow anyone but himself to do the inevitable. Three shots are fired and two cattle are put to death. This spells the end of Homer. The last love of his life was put down.

Certainly there are several underlying themes; father and son conflict, greed versus honor, rebellion versus tradition and man versus nature. The center of the film though can be summed up in the time it was released, 1963 a changing America. Where conflict between the establishment and those trying to destroy it were at a fevered pitch.

The ultimate reasons I worship this film as truly the best I've seen, are simple Paul Newman(nominated Best Actor), and the rest of the cast; Melvyn Douglas (Academy Award for his performance), Patricia Neal (Academy Award for her performance) the cinematography (Academy Award for James Howe), the story is really smart and gritty. But simply put I was mortified at the slaughter of all of the cattle right before my eyes. I usually need a great hook to capture my interest in a film and Newman provided that. His presence captivated me from his entrance, and so did Brandon De Wilde as he searched for his philandering uncle.

If you liked Unforgiven, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Hustler or Red River you will certainly like my all time fave Hud.

Mrs. Smith

I saw a story on CNN that Angelina Jolie was against celebs begging for money for the poor. I guess the 9-11 and Tsunami concerts and Sharon Stone's whatever you want to call it are the inspiration for her statement. She believes it can do more harm than good, by being uninformed and just swooping in for the glory. I can't say I disagree with her, but I don't think it does more harm than good.

The reason this struck me is, its that time of year again. Awards season. I love the award shows and the glamour and glitz involved. I don't mind the self praise and celeb stroking that goes on during the preshows. What I do mind is the gift bags. I've thought for at least as long as I knew they got gift bags that this was ridiculous. It is the worst form of product placement on the earth. The uber wealthy get new cell phones, perfume, and X Box games, yipee. I am still waiting on someone to sell their gift bag on eBay for charity. Been waiting for at least five years, for some that's like twenty gift bags. My plea is that not only do celebs at these award shows not need this stuff, they also aren't exactly jumping to do spots for the items after they try them. Hell they don't even use half the stuff anyway. I bet it gets regifted and lost. Sell the crap for charity. Bradley Whitford and Jane Kayzmerick (sp) sell their awards night duds!

I probably have harped on this before, but it still itches.

On the other hand for Angelina, I can't wait for Mr. and Mrs. Smith this summer. Trailer here...
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/mrandmrssmith/

I love Doug Liman so I'm excited even though not overly impressed with the trailer.


It Ain't Over 'til Its Over-Lenny Kravitz
Always on the Run- Lenny Kravitz
Stop Draggin Around- Lenny Kravitz

That is a good album kids "Mama Said" and fourteen years old.

Have a Fruit Roll-up!

Welcome to Thursday Night.

I owe some songs. Initially I set out to give three songs per journal entry. Unfortunately I have forgotten a few times too many. So here are several songs from my current Rhapsody playlist.

Tonight I decided to listen to a little rap:
Posse on Broadway, Sir Mix a Lot
Rebel without a Pause, Public Enemy
Givin' up the Nappy Dugout, Ice Cube-beware very very very explicit lyrics
Steady Mobbin'-Ice Cube-the first non-Beastie Boys jam I liked
Look Who's Burnin'- Ice Cube- once again very very very very very explicit lyrics, but a must listen just for the comic value
Bop Gun- Ice Cube- beware may inspire grinding on people or furniture

Slightly different, Pretty (Ugly Before)- Elliott Smith, played a small role in the OC tonight, as did Evil by Interpol. I've over-raved about Interpol, so ignore that and do some Elliott Smith.

If I Had a $1,000,000.00 by Barenaked Ladies should be played on country stations. Just a thought. Another thought: If I had a million dollars, I would pay Barenaked Ladies to disband, and Brian Wilson to kick their asses.

I'll leave you with this thought. Ted McGinnley should have been in Caddyshack II.

My Back Pages

I started watching The Warriors today. Supposed to be a great cult flick about NY Gangwarfare. It features two very famous lines. One Shaq ripped "Can You Dig It!!!", and another I think found its way into a metal song, maybe Anthrax, "Come out to playeyay".

Anyway I think I should be a film critic in my next life because I only watched five minutes of this one and had an idea. Forty-five minutes later I felt even more passionately about it. The Warriors is a song and dance musical of the fifties without the songs or dances. It features more choreography than any 70's disco movie. Guys run and jump like they were in a Rodgers and Hammerstein. Anyway its a silly movie, which lends itself well to being a cult hit.

While on the subject of movies and film, a subject I can talk about for hours, I've been planning an experiment based on Joe Queenan's from a book he wrote about five years ago. He went to a movie a week, and then wrote about his thoughts about that movie. But what he did was destroy every movie he watched, looking for flaws in continuity to bad acting to sheer stupid actions. Making each experience worse than the first. My thought was to go to the film that is most hyped every week. The one with the most commercials on TV, playing in the most local theatres, and with the greatest print ad space. The objective is to first go to as many mainstream movies as possible, see how many of these movies I actually enjoy, and study what it takes to make audiences go to the movies.

I also think it would be good practice for that future career in film review. So hell maybe I should start posting a movie review of my personal faves every week, for kicks...of course.

If you do want to enjoy a quick read see this by Queenan:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0786884649/qid=1106790395/sr=1-10/ref=sr_1_10/002-6915605-0248859?v=glance&s=books

I am looking forward to another Hollywood debunking book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1556525591/qid=1106790669/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/002-6915605-0248859

But what I actually am reading, and hoping will cause many nightmares, so far only three chapters down and I figure I shouldn't read this "on a dark and stormy night":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0553572997/qid=1106790765/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/002-6915605-0248859

Seacrest Out

Hmm Pherrrrr Hmm Pherrrr Hmm Pherrrr

I gotta tell you I'm pretty happy fame-monger Michael Moore is not getting any Academy Award Nominations for 9/11. His next obstacle is perscription drugs.

American Idol tonight, looking foward to some quality. I guess I just jumped the shark by expecting quality. You know what I mean. I'm ready for the big standoff kind of nights.

One more thing. Star Wars III will be out in four months. I really don't think that has set in yet. Star Wars, a movie I worshiped as a child, along with each sequel were untouchable movie events. The thought that we were actually given a look back into the backstory seemed like it may never happen. Now the moment we've been waiting for will soon be here in earnest. Certainly I am excited, but unfortunately I won't take the same youthful passion into my theatre this year as I did in 1983. I'm still holding out hope that the Phantom Menace is Natalie Portman.

Which brings me full circle I guess. Go Nats! Bring us an Oscar!

I Heart Allison Moorer

Tonight I write with a beauty mark on my hand. That great little stain from a rubber stamp at your local rock club. I entered the doors with pretty high expectations and luckily they were exceeded. Not only was Steve Earle and the Dukes great, the crowd was appreciative and welcoming, and the opening act was fabulous.

Allison Moorer is truly a fresh face in country music. This girl is so sexy and really really good. She is a great singer and seems to be a songwriter. Turns out she's Shelby Lynne's sister. Well as many people think Shelby Lynne is hot, they need to see Allison Moorer. By far one of my all time favorite openers. Earle had her join his band for five songs which gives you some idea of what he thinks of her. I actually wonder if they are dating or married. I can't say that I know.

The night had a bizarre enough beginning when I walked by Steve Earle on his bus. I just looked up and there he was smoking out of the window. I said "Hey" he said "Hey". Even more strange. When exiting the Farm, I walked by Allison Moorer and barely knew it. It's cold here and she bundled up. But I looked back and people were attacking her as she slipped onto their bus.

For those who are new to Allison Moorer, check out her album; Show. Its a live record covering her career up to 2004. Good Stuff.

On to the beef of the evening. I saw Earle was playing about a month ago and jumped on tickets. So this has been a long time coming. I forgot until a few minutes ago that I've seen Steve Earle before. I may have been taking a leek, but at Farm Aid 96 he played an afternoon set. Forgot totally. So this was a huge check on that list of who I must see live.

Earle is a radical liberal and you get it put in your face at his shows. He rallies for the crowd to protest in the streets and sing loud enough for the fella's in DC to hear you. All in all political message or not he makes great country rock music. If you uninitiated you should certainly listen to his Greatest Hits and then The Revolution Starts....Now and Jerusalem. Jerusalem was his commentary on 9-11 and the war on terror. The Revolution....... is all over the Iraq War, and the major players, including a reggae song for Condi Rice.

Tonight the setlist included no greatest hits save, Guitar Town, Transcendental Blues, and Copperhead Road. Surprisingly his political songs are extremely crowd friendly. They aren't bubblegum, but straight ahead rock and roll in its truest form. Buddy Holly, The Beatles, The Stones, would all be proud.

Speaking of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. We were treated to covers of Revolution, from the White Album, Sweet Virginia from Exile on Main Street and Time Has Come Today, by the Chamber Brothers, which Earle covers on Jerusalem rather poorly.

Anyway I've always heard of bands playing for three hours. Tonight was the first time I saw it happen. Not including the opening act, Earle and the Dukes played from 10:15 to 1:00. I guess that isn't three hours but its close.

It's getting late. Now near 2am and I usually get up by 6am everyday. So I should go.

Great start to the live music year. Next up two Wilco shows. One in Myrtle Beach one in DC, Frock I'll be lookin' for ya.....

Some Steve Earle I hope you haven't heard:
Jerusalem, Home to Houston, and The Revolution Starts....Now, other goodies Goodbye's All We Got Left, and You're Still Standing There, Christmas in Washington.

Allison Moorer stuff: A Soft Place to Fall, Is It Worth It?

sleepy time

You're a Tracer

Boring playoff games drive me to writing a message about nothing as usual.

Good slams of bands, UberStank, Stinkin Park, and of course Trashlee Simpson.

Steve Earle and the Dukes tomorrow night. I'm goin' with my rock critic buddy. We previously saw Dylan, and John Hiatt. Both times he got slurringly drunk. It sucks to baby sit a Nam vet.

Gotta give a shot out to Johnny Carson. I predicted this less than six months ago, and had him in my old death pool. We can only hope that Leno won't ruin his opportunity to honor Carson.

Still waiting on a Remember the Forties on VH1...

laters

Check this out.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=nikemask/one

Nike will be the talk of the weekend commercials.

Wall of Sound

Holla at ya boy!!

Ah as usual music is the thing on my mind. These are the two songs I will be sampling on my up coming rap album. Shiftee Sings the Blues

Dreams, Fleetwood Mac simply for the line, "players only love you when they're playin'", good beat to spit it on also.

He's a Rebel, The Crystals. This is a Phil Specter masterpiece. Its something I'm sure gay dudes probably sing all the time, like one of my other faves The Shoop Shoop Song (its in his kiss). Anyway, listen to the piano in the begining and then the chorus could of chorus could be re-written on a gangsta tip. Although my raps won't be about gangsta stuff I see everyday like Lil Wayne and Easy E. It would be more dance and lyrical craziness. Anyway it drops like never, but if it did you can bet these two sounds would be there.

snooch

And the Healing has Begun

This guy is my favorite football player on the planet:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/players/01/18/first_person0124/

I'm certainly a stat guy, but he does it all and fills the sheet.

I was thinking the Gators should fire Billy Donovan, well now, but looked they are really young and I'm sure he'll get a pass. Doesn't it seem like he's had ample opportunity though? I say he's hot seat material unless they put it together in March. Same for Tommy Amaker next year, they need to hurry up and turn a corner. How bad do I wish Al Skinner were in Columbia?

I feel asleep last night at 7:45. Done. Out. Gone. Woke up at 12:30 and watched Craig Fergueson, eh?

Finally Kalana Greene a 5-11 guard at Timberland High is leading the Lowcountry in Points (near 30 per) Rebounds (near 12 per) Assists (near 10 per) Blocks (only four per) Steals (two per) and is most certainly the best player coming out of the state this year. Why haven't you heard? She's a girl. She's going to UConn because well, why waste your talent here. Kalana will most likely be a Parade All American, a USA Today All American, and is currently Ms. SC Basketball. Too bad she plays a sport no one cares about.

Thanks Dr. McGee

Kids, its 6:40 in the East and I'm back on the wagon, or off of it. Anyway, I prepartied for American Idol early tonight. Had four beers and dinner. Now I've got an hour to kill betwixt now and thenish. It's mad chilly down here in Chucktown. This morning I left for work amidst 21 degree temps. That's crap.

Anyway American Idol was really fairly extended last night. Could have been summed up in thirty but of course its all about the dollar. Look forward to tonight's episode with St. Louis being featured. Good Delta Blues, doubt it. Probably more St. Lunatics than any thing else.

Ode to Iron Mike McGee, You Da Man! Got Eddie Fogler (SEC Champs), Dave Odom (NIT Runner Ups), Ray Tanner (CWS three years, finished top five last three years), Lou Holtz ( Outback Bowl wins, no bowl this year) Steve Spurrier. Oh right, SEC. National Champs in Women's Track. Expansion of the South End Zone, Colonial Center, University Club and much else. Little things like absolutely no probation, in the SEC.

You will be missed, now time to promote Kerry Tharp.

Oh I can't take another heartache/though you say you're my friend I'm at my wits end....
Cruel to be Kind, Nick Lowe
The Science of Selling Yourself Short, Less than Jake
Rags to Rags, Eels

Have a good Thursday, OC tomorrow. Time to go West Wing Re-run on Bravo, on of my favorites "Red Haven's Fire".

Take it to the Limit

Do people still think 70's music sucks? I wonder? People used to always laugh at disco and make fun of the excess of the pop music. With myself included I did bash some bands and still do, but now looking back, the real crap is almost every Eagles record, Supertramp, Frampton Comes Alive and did I mention the Eagles. Certainly some disco/pop music sucked, but much of it was really slick. It's too bad that people bash the wrong stuff. The real greatness of this era was in English Punk/New Wave, Funk, Pop, and Glam. Keep your Eagles, and Seger, I'm with El Duderino....give me some Creedence.

Just listen to

If I Can't Have You, Yvonne Elliman---pop
Up For the Down Stroke, Parliament---funk
Complete Control, The Clash---punk
All The Young Dudes, Mott the Hoople---glam
Text book examples....

Listen to this drivel if you dare, of course if you Rhapsody like me, you will find the Eagles aren't there. I'm sure Joe Walsh and Glen Frye can't agree on something. None the less break out your copy of their greatest hits and jam Hearthache Tonight.

American Idol's triumphiant return tonight.

Where's Latoya London?

Teamocil does not cause hallucinations

And the envelope please,

My early thoughts on the Globes last night are these:

William Macy is not gay, he is married to Felicity Huffman. I still have no reason to think that Kevin Spacey is hetero, "not that there's anything wrong with that".

Emmy Rossum is the new hot ingenue.

Robin Williams did my Bono impersonation on the Red Carpet. "I'm harder than Chinese Algebra!" was the exact quote.

Since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up I suppose that Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are the new power couple. Have you ever seen them separated?

I guess Jaime Foxx tattooed his head.

Kevin Kline is lucky.

Star Jones used the word "homage", but emphasized the "h".

Johnny Depp is cool, but not as cool as Mick Jagger, maybe in twenty five years.

Ben Affleck was quoted as saying to Jennifer Garner "you look wicked awesome".

Mos Def is a triple threat, watch out Walken...

I predict big things for this Leonardo DiCapprio fella.

The same and less obvious for Natalie Portman.

Arrested Development was funny last night. That may have nothing to do with the Golden Globes but, that's what I did from 8:30 to 9:00. I believe I'll go into the breakroom today and announce how great that Tobias Funke is, and measure the responses.

That's all folks....

Thank You Very Little

Today we set the record straight on a few things.

First, I am soon going to be 28 and may have lost a step, but still feel I can out run most dogs. Not in an open field and not on a track, but certainly at a mall or in a neighborhood. I can get away from almost all dogs.

Second, I don't fully believe in baseball stats pre-WWII. The reasons are two fold. Sports journalists were not national, thus within their region they had only a small audience of fans. Those fans didn't make road trips, but the journalists did and could ultimately write any story they choose. You can't fake the score but you can fake the stats. I'm not at all saying it happened but it is possible. No one would question the home favorite's stats. You think anyone from Brooklyn looked at Duke Snider and questioned his fielding percentage? Well I don't, and I certainly don't believe that a reporter who's job it was to cover the team would write false stories, but it could have happened. So you have your possibly crooked journalists, what is the other reason? Who kept stats? The team and submitted them to the league. He got a triple and advanced home on a throwing error, like hell, that's a homer. Not saying it ever happened at all, but isn't it possible? Is it possible today? Absolutely not. Every game is on TV of some sort, every game has a league official stat dude (I don't think I can spell statistician), and well fans now call into CBS and complain that a golfer grounded his club in an out of bounds after a dog barked causing said golfer to lose the lead.

Third, one on one, no holds barred a man from Texas beats a man from Harlem 75% of the time. Certainly there are exceptions, but by and large Texas opens a sixer of whoop ass on Harlem. And that's not a race related statement. The discussion began from a same race show down.

A few other bits whilst I am thinking of it. Michelle Wie is hot. I'm sorry she's fifteen and I shouldn't say that blah blah blah... What I really shouldn't say is this...it's her waist. She has a good set of hips..okay I really need to move on.

Speaking of stats earlier, do you ever pay attention to NBA stats? I like to look every now and then. Some time ago a new stat was invented. It's called efficiency. It was invented for Kevin Garnett. He has never lost the lead and probably won't for a long time. Here is the interesting thing. Players that score highly in efficiency fill a stat sheet. Rebounds, points, blocks, assists etc. Long story short, the best guys are in this category, but they are mostly big men which is why this is so interesting. LeBron James has been in the top five all year. He is by far the smallest player to be listed in two years.
http://www.nba.com/statistics/2004/default_regular_season_leaders/LeagueLeadersEFFQuery.html?topic=0&stat=27

Well, it's couch time. Enjoy these songs for the rest of the day....

Don't Give Up on Me, Solomon Burke They, Jem Sad Songs and Waltzes, Cake Go West, Liz Phair Out of Control, U2.

Chillin' like Bob Dylan....

Man in the Moon

I have always found Jennifer Garner hot. Liked her on Felicity even though I never watched more than two episodes. Followed her career for a little while, like Alias but don't watch it, just like Jennifer Garner the person and actress. But friends Elektra could be playing on my walls of my apartment and I would not look at it. That might be one of the great bombs of all time. It might be one of the least necessary sequels of all time. The best part of Superman II was that a movie wasn't made for the trio of flying evil sent by Zod (yes I researched the name) to battle Superman. Please for the love of all hotness don't make another turd like Elektra, a bad version of 13 Going on 30 would have been better.

Randy Moss is a trip. When is VH1 going to put him and Sandy Duncan in a foreign tryst. I loved it when he mooned the fans of Green Bay. I love having an enemy to pull against, and he fits that so well. I still figure he, like Dennis Rodman before him suffer from depression and are basically unequipped at dealing with life as they have it. It's funny I grew up watching wrestling and always kept an eye on what was going on. In the last ten years you see partial nudity, groping, and certainly are vulnerable to several four letter words during a single hour of television. Randy's thing was tame, and funny.

While talkin' sports.... let's all back off of John Abraham a little. First I am biased. I went to college with him. I was always in awe of his ability, and his personality. He was/is a nice guy. A little backstory. John is injured. He's got a leg problem, and chose to sit out the playoff game last week on a soggy San Diego field. He cited his upcoming free agent status as a reason. Is he soft? Probably softer than some NFLers. Is he selfish? Maybe. But John has gone through some tough times in the last 400 days. Not only did he get convicted on DWI charges, but he entered AA to cure himself of his addiction. Herm Edwards the best "player's" coach in the business reached out to John. Considering his situation, I don't think we should be blasting the guy for not limping out there and giving it his all. Ronnie Lott he ain't, but concerned about how many games he has left in his troubled body he is certainly. I personally think John is the type that would get out there and lay it on the line for his team, but I never knew the guy that well at all. Best case scenario is he gets healthy, and can continue to play at the Pro Bowl level he has established.

Lighter notes:
I'm sorry CBS pulled the Will. I liked the idea of two Fox Networks
Speaking of Fox, The OC tonight American Idol, in five days

I meant to honor the King on his birthday but didn't remember until almost a week later... so here ya go... one from the '50's one from the '60's and then a number from the '70's
Don't Be Cruel, Viva Las Vegas, (from Aloha, Live from Hawaii Via satellite) My Way

Large

Well, when there is nothing to talk about what do you do? Start a new topic hoping it gains momentum. Here I guess I'll talk a little about what I did today. Started the day off working on some photography. I owe my sister some work and must meet my 2-8-05 deadline, her 25th. Next I came home to a Sugar Free Red Bull and finished watching Garden State. The first time I enjoyed it enough to buy it. The second time I really saw some great flourishes. Zach Braff probably shouldn't do another DIY type movie because you really can't top his first. Flawed as it maybe, upon my second visit the parts that I thought were good were better, parts I found weak were improved through better understanding of the characters. Really liked this movie, but still believe people overrated it.
Next I ate some lunch with the pops. Ryan's Steakhouse, buffet of course. Later I returned to my pad and destroyed the Tampa Bucs in the Super Bowl by forty five. Nap. Go to Summerville and have haircut and dinner with moms. Return to West Ashley/James Is. for drinks. Consume. I had my first Mobius. Mobius is a beer brewed here in SC and invented on Sullivan's Is. It is supposedly the first of its kind in America, as it is an energy beer complete with ginseng, guranna, and caffenine. Also carries major aftertaste. Return home open a Newcastle and..... now I'm webblogging my day.

Rather mundane.

Suggestions, start your countdown for American Idol tomorrow. Six Days as of midnight. Next suggestion reality TV based watch Surreal Life on VH1. You may see Chyna's penis. According to several reputable porn reviews and blogs she has some side effect of steroids in her crotch.
Final suggestion:
Pink Moon, Nick Drake....Alameda, Elliott Smith....Garden Party, Rick Nelson

Bring me Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown

All Time Favorite Simpson's Quotes:

"I think I'm blind."---Homer after sitting up all night eating 64 slices of cheese

"My doctor says I can't get pudding in my eye anymore." Lenny obviously after a horrible pudding accident where he exclaimed "I'm in hell!!!"


"Would you like to come inside, I have some stereo-optical images of the Crimean War"--C. Montgomery Burns to his crush


"Its a ring toss game." Homer to chief Wiggum who expects a bribe, but Homer being a carnival novice doesn't realize he needs to grease the fuzz.


Small announcements that need to be put out there. This year is the year of the Trichelle Sex Tape. Write that down. She needs to get her name out there again, this is the new way, unless she gets married in a scandalous way. Also, put this in your file. In about ten years people are going to refer to Hole the way they referred to Heart, or The Runaways. So for now listen to some Hole and forget about it. In many years it will sound as fresh as today, so what if Kurt Cobain may have written the first album and Billy Corgan and Michael Stipe the second. While you are at it put the Smashing Pumpkins in that category as well. Somebody will call them genius.

Celebrity Skin, Asking For It, Miss World...Hole

Give it a Floor Run

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/kicking_and_screaming/

http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/wedding_crashers/

Will Will Ferrell's screaming ever not be funny? How about Vince Vaughn's playful "daddy likes" type stuff? I'm sure both of these will be average but at least this is an indication that they have no plans of stopping their specialties.

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, yep, right in the baby maker."

The Japanese thought of everything

They should sell tickets to Cisco's for Friday Karaoke. The menagerie of crooners was easily the highlight, although a spirited rendition of Escape (The Pina Colada Song) nearly brought the house down. I had a blast people watching, especially Steve Tanneyhill, Buxom Girl that interpretively danced to every song and then dropped an F-Bomb during Suspicious Minds, chunky redneck chick #2, and of course Chris. Chris was possibly the most excited karaoke singer in the bar. He was there early, and would have stayed late, but duty calls. I guess a ship was leaving shore. Never had I seen a man of the Navy unload karaoke equipment, and then grab a microphone and not be able to sing, at all. You'd figure that a guy who loves karaoke might be good.

I'm having a Bono day. Everything that comes to my mind is in his voice. My innermonologue is voiced by Bono. "I think I'll have some raisins"

Back to karaoke for a second, some of the people were pretty good, but I've noticed that not too many black folks karaoke, but when they do...its like opening the doors to a performance hall. Even an ex-athlete turned coach like Hank Campbell may not be able to sing but really brought some juice to the place. He did the pina colada song. Many college friends might remember Mike Monzetta doing MC Hammer's Can't Touch This. Mike blessed the mic proper that night. Stripping off his shirt and literally walking to every table in the bar, well Hank's performance last night was that kind of performance, everyone was involved.

So one of the best lines in a movie this year was from Harold and Kumar... it involved the EXTREME guys. The Extreme Guys are about five guys who torment Harold and Kumar, for being not white. They are your typical Mountain Dew/Honda Pilot commercial actors. Anyway the leader of the group addressed one of the other guys as "Extreme Sports Guy #2". That was funny, and so is the movie, it has some really good Hollywood inside jokes, like saying to Harold "Better Luck Tomorrow". Which is a great movie he stared in just before making Harold and Kumar.

Okay that is enough for today, I need a Sierra Nevada.

Songs I would karaoke if I karaoked...
Show and Tell, by Al Wilson...What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, Jimmy Ruffin...Ball and Biscuit, The White Stripes (one of these is a joke, can you guess, that's right, but wouldn't it be hilarious to see some one do that?)

The Song that Cal Likes

Current happenings. Well let's see, listening to Dave Matthews Band for the first time in probably five years. Really rediscovering it. Still not bad, still not great. I had a short but fruitful relationship with the band in my early college years. I am playing Live at Luther College this week.

I'm looking forward to Dave's acting debut in Because of Winn Dixie. I like goofy kids movies such as these and relish the cameo/bit parts that are handed out to has-beens or musicians.

The OC was terrific last night. Easily one of the three best. If nothing else because of Summer's line to Seth.

Upon seeing Seth at the local club...
"Hey Cohen you're all sweaty, and smell. Your breath smells like Marisa. Your Drunk!!!"
The general plot is thick and scandalous, but the one liners are what keeps me coming back for more.

Any Major Dude will Tell You, Kid Charlamange, FM...Steely Dan

Consider yourself briefed.

I'm Outie

"I know it was you"

My current film plan is to make a fourth Godfather film, called Weekend at Fredo's. It will be a departure from they Coppola Films and Puzo novels. We've currently attached Jimmy Fallon to play Fredo since John Cazzalle died in the late seventies. The plot centers around Fredo's extravagant lifestyle while in Las Vegas on business for the Corleone Family. Fredo's going all willy nilly doing drugs, alcohol, and women in multitudes. I think with my connections I should be able to get Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman to cameo.

I am slightly in essay form as I have certainly watched two shockingly different comedies today. 1968's Barefoot in the Park, a Neil Simon comedy and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Obviously these movies are intended for different core audiences, but I fall into both groups. So anyway, I've always adored Barefoot in the Park. I typically don't like comedies that light and of that period, but it really is good. Back when Jane Fonda was an actress comedies were light and breezy. Now you get a punch in the face with sexual innuendo, and gross out gags. Don't worry though I love movies where shock and humiliation are the norm. Those movies are made by guys around my age that grew up making fun of farting, dorks, and love creating retro nostalgia.

Anyway, Weekend at Fredo's would be great. "It's Weekend at Burnie's meets the Godfather meets Swingers" says bizarrely energetic Hollywood pitchman.

Listen to this: City of Blinding Lights, U2... You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in prison, My Chemical Romance...Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson...This song has haunted me since the Orange Bowl, I was wrong for snarking on you Kell's, this tune is pretty good. Can't wait for some American Idol in two weeks....

later

Grapes of Wrath

Last night I witnessed a brutal beating of the third kind. So. Cal dismantled Oklahoma's psyche. Only Tom Joad made deep advances into California last night. More brutal still was Ashlee Simpson's halftime performance. Not only did Kelly Clarkson seem better than Ashlee Simpson, it was enjoyable. Simpson hopped and squelched her song in all black for what seemed like an utter eternity.

So what's your point? Right on to that. Her sucking so bad made me think, how much bands like Coldplay (who I obsess over), Maroon 5, and U2 probably the most successful bands of the last 24 months, are so great. They write melodic, original pop rock songs. Maroon 5 is mentioned simply because they are currently the most commerically viable American group of the moment. Coldplay who I can gush for hours over, hasn't cut a bad song, yet. Sure it will happen but thus far their catalog is pretty gorgeous. They have passion and melody that is unbreakable. I haven't heard a new band this good since Nirvana. So that is my Coldplay love letter.

This is five names I wouldn't give my kids, and I suggest you not use either:
---Colt Stable, too porno
---Destiny Sunrise, ditto
---Soda
---Lillix Sabbath
---Carl Lewis

Mr. Brightside, The Killers, Ocean Breathes Salty, Modest Mouse, Hands Down, Dashboard Confessional

peace, love and hair grease

The Simple Life

Mis Amigos,

Somehow or another Vincent Gallo has found another bizarre way of entering the public eye. This guy began a promising film career in Buffalo '66. A film about a psychopath that pursues former Buffalo Bills kicker Scott Norwood to assasinate him for missing the field goal in the Super Bowl against the Giants. It was actually a pretty good movie. Since then however he has made some awful pieces of crud. Ebert called his latest, Brown Bunny, the worst movie ever screened at Cannes. Others went as far as to say the worst they have ever seen. Yet others found it to be aueteur filmmaking in its purest form. So Brown Bunny for those of you who are the uninitiated features a penultimate sequence of the Gallo character getting his Lil' Vinnie mouthified by Chloe Sevingy. Okay so I say that and you may think it is delicately hidden, oh no it isn't. It is the first of its kind. Now he teams up with wanton Paris Hilton in a seemingly internet only video. She is decked in bra and panties and spinning on a lazy susan for approx 2 minutes. See it here....Brown Bunny clips you can search on your own...

http://www.gawker.com/archives/parishoneybunny.wmv

I hope for your sake it is still there.

Celebrity ain't what it used to be.

Enjoy some Ben Folds Five Where's Summer B?, Alice Childress, Narcolepsy

Hasta la luego

Zing Zang is Good

I just started my Christmas shopping. Well, that is shopping with money gifted to me for Christmas. Bought some jeans, now I have a khaki/jean ratio of approx. 5:1. Jeans are so much different from kindergarten. My three pair are more diverse than the Florida Marlins infield. One pair I had to break in for nearly one year, these two I bought today needed patches and a hot iron.

Wilco played MSG a few nights ago, the setlist was rather impressive including covers of Don't Fear the Reaper, I Shall Be Released, Something in the Air, and Love Will Keep Us Together. I'm ready to see those dudes this Feb.

Time for a Bloody Mary in honor of the Sugar Bowl. Go Tigers.

Cuyahoga, So. Central Rain, Moral Kiosk....REM

Snooch

Beer is for Breakfast, Calahan

Do you ever watch television on DVD and at a fade to black get up and get something to drink and a malamar, or start changing channels and forget that what you are watching is commercial free? I do. I am currently watching Season 2 West Wing, and Season 3 Homicide Life on the Street, maybe I can break the habit soon.

One day I plan to watch Cocktail and Coyote Ugly double feature style.

I hope Don Cheadle does NFL commercials again this playoff season.

Middle of the Road, Back on the Chain Gang, Don't Get Me Wrong- Pretenders

until

Hair of the Dog

Thank you Mr. President.


Happy New Year, here we go with football, 24/7. Can't say I mind that but call me gay I would kill for a MTV marathon of Laguna Beach, or True Life I'm a Teenage Junkie/Runaway/Prostitute. Instead of flipping between boring games between the SEC and everyone else, I could flip from those games to MXC. Don't Get Eliminated!!!!


Today is the day of lame duck coaches. In the Citrus Bowl, we have Nick Saban who is leaving LSU for Miami's Dolphins. In the Fiesta Bowl you get Urban Meyer vs. Walt Harris. Next year they could play again with totally different schools. If ever there was a dramatic jump these guys are taking it. Predominately ignorant and dull Univ. of Pittsburgh for Stanford University. Que? And the Mormon dominated Utah says goodbye to Meyer as he Goes Wild in Uncensored Gainesville.


Last Night I did do some Rhapsody torture and jam some Lindsay Lohan. You must listen to Symptoms of You. The title doesn't do this turd justice. Next on my list was Pieces of Me the Ashlee Simpson jam that had me from the first note. I am now lost. That song is still pretty great but I can't get the SNL thing outta my mind. While I'm spouting about music, Muzzle of Bees is this month's favorite Wilco song. And I believe you were denied my awesome musical selections yesterday. Today you get six rather than your typical three.

Dancing Queen, Abba---don't believe in guilty pleasures, but this would be one
September, Earth, Wind and Fire
Best of My Love, The Emotions

Trampoline, Joe Henry
For Nancy, Pete Yorn
Everybody's Stalking, Badly Drawn Boy

Cheers